Well, it's that time of year again, the air is getting crisp, the leaves are beginning to change and the school buses are running their routes. Yes, the kids are back to school. For some this means getting the kids up on time, packing the lunch box, making sure the homework is done and in the back pack and walking the kids down to the bus stop.
For others it means buying extra long sheets, under the bed storage, a mini fridge, a microwave and a new alarm clock. Packing up the car and driving several hours to leave their child in an unfamiliar environment, with a roommate they've never met, and leave them behind to start their adult life, with their first adult adventure "College".
I am a mother of four wonderful kids with four completely different personalities. Zack, 21, is following in his fathers footsteps in the manufacturing industry and is currently working in the steel industry as a crane operator. There is Corey, 16, a Valparaiso High School student and athlete, he loves running. Madelyn 14, she now prefers to be called "Maddy" and is a freshman this year. While she used to be shy, she isn't anymore and loves to listen to music and hang out with her friends.
Then there is Jake. Jake is 19 and is my first one to go away to college. Zack attended Ivy Tech here in Valpo, so sending one of my children off to college is a brand new experience. Neither my husband nor I had the privilege to attend college either.
Jake has always been an independent thinker, a hard worker, self-reliant and generous. We have always lived a modest existence, sometimes money was scarce and Jake was always the first one to say, "Here mom, buy something for yourself", and then hand me his lawn-mowing money.
We used to call Jake "Jake the Snake" when he was growing up because, from early on, Jake has always loved bugs, frogs, toads, snakes and anything creepy crawly. He loved to catch praying mantis by the jar full every fall. He was the typical boy that would put the bugs and frogs in his pocket for me to find later dead in his pocket or, yes, even in the lint trap in the dryer. Now he is going to school to learn how to protect those creatures he has always loved.
Jake is attending Vincennes University for Conservation/Law Enforcement and Forestry. Vincennes came very highly recommended for this program. It is supposed to be one of the best colleges in the United States for conservation, but this means he will be living over 4 1/2 hours away. This is not an easy adjustment when you are used to seeing someone every day.
Jake is a graduate of Valparaiso High School Class of 2011. Senior year was a hard one for me because I knew, when Jake puts his mind to something, he sticks with it. His independence is just one of his strengths, but with that, I know that most likely he is now on his own, for good.
All senior year, thinking of him leaving meant, as a mother, I experienced a lot of emotions, like feelings of sadness that I have one leaving the nest and happiness because I have raised my son to be independent and hard working. I know he is going to succeed and achieve his goals.
The week before he was going to leave was the hardest for me. I would cry very easily just thinking about our son moving so far away. "Will he have enough to eat? Will he get along OK with his roommate? Will he be OK? Will he have enough money? What if he gets sick?"
The day to leave finally came and his dad and I packed our car, Jake packed his, and with our son following behind us, we made the journey down to Vincennes. We did the college whirlwind, you need to go here, then go there, and over there, to that office etc.
Finally, after taking him for a little dinner, getting him unpacked and settled in, we hugged our son, slipped in his hand just a little bit of money, said good bye and we headed for our hotel. I thought I would start to cry, but surprisingly, I was ok. I felt like "Now it's done." My husband though, was finally hit with the emotions I faced all senior year: fear of the unknown, sadness, and pride. A few tears welled up in him. He told me "Barby, guys are different." Not so different after all, it just hit him a little later.
After we got back home, I spoke with a few other "College Moms" that are new to the experience or have done this before, and my friend Beth Culp said "I think I cried for the first 200 miles after we dropped Andrew off in Minnesota." She warned me to have a Kleenex box ready for the drive home. My cousin Jean Wyman said they had a scheduled phone call with their son Richie after dropping him off in Florida. They tried to visit him as often as they could, even using credit cards. Jean said "It was worth it, just to see him and make sure he was doing ok." Judy Kittridge, a new college mom like me said they are using Skype every Sunday night, using Facebook and texting. She said they are letting their son Tyler contact them even though it is "SOOO hard not to see him let alone speak to him every day."
Brenda Jankowski, is a second year college mom with her daughter Lisa being a sophomore. Brenda said "It's a little easier than last year when we dropped her off as a freshman, I cried the whole way home and then started again when I saw her room with her teddy bear laying on her bed. It's easier this year I guess because we are more familiar with her campus routine."
My friend Colleen Zana felt like I did during the senior year of her son Patrick. She said "I knew this was the beginning of the end to my son being in school at home under my protection." She recalled a memory of him getting on the school bus for his first day of school, he told his mom he was so excited to be going, until he saw mommy cry. Later, when they were setting up his dorm room, Patrick recalled the same memory and said he remembered seeing his mother cry and didn't want her to be worried again.
We are "Moms" and we worry, that is part of our job. We told you "The stove was hot" and you trusted us. We put the band-aid on your boo boos, kissed it and made it better. We held you when you were sad and laughed with you when you laughed and now it's time to let go and watch you fly. Forgive us if it is not an easy thing to do. Don't mistake our tears with sadness, for they are tears of joy and pride as we watch you turn into the young men and women we have raised you to be. Victoria BruBaker, a former college student said, "'Mom' always means 'home' and even when we are away Mom's are still in our heart."